Kimberly Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
by CopperCow
Summary: Kim is having a hard time coping with Fleur's death. Severus won't talk to her, and now she has to deal with the Toad as her teacher. Hopefully Harry and Cho Chang will be able to help her learn how to fight Voldemort. He took everything from her and lately, she's been letting her anger cloud her judgment. Twin sister fic fem Chosen One so Kim's the GWL not Harry, future Kim/DM
1. Alive

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

 **Hi! This is 5** **th** **in a series, but if you're a fan of 5** **th** **year angst and don't want to read the previous four, there are some notes for you at the bottom. Kim looks like Lily but has James's eyes.**

Chapter 1 Alive

Ginny was the one to get Kim to stop sulking in her room. Or, at least, that's what she told Remus. It was pretty much the truth. Plus, he'd be worried if he knew what she was doing. No, worse. He and Sirius would go ballistic.

First, she would say that she was sleeping over the Weasleys. Then, once Mrs. Weasley was asleep or gone for an Order meeting, they would sneak out to Lavender Brown's.

If they each brought a galleon (Kim usually covered for Ginny), Lavender's mum would buy them Firewhiskey on the weekends, as long as they promised not to leave the property. They'd party and sneak back home before Mrs. Weasley woke up. They usually didn't wake up until long after noon, but the Weasley matriarch figured it was because they were giggling the night away.

Lately, Remus, Sirius, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley let her get away with sleeping all day because they thought she was finally feeling better. That she had somehow magically gotten over Fleur's death. Well, magic didn't work like that.

At Lavender's, she didn't have to feel bad about Fleur's death or the pile of letters that Blaise was sending her that were remaining unopen. She didn't have to feel bad about the fact that she still wasn't talking to Ron, that she hadn't apologized yet. When she felt the burn in her throat after playing drinking games with her friends, she felt wild, alive, free. The guilt was gone. She could giggle and have fun without thinking about it.

"Let's go inside," Seamus said as they laughed and watched their friends drunkenly play tag in Lavender's backyard.

Kim smiled and nodded, not bothering to say anything because she knew he wouldn't be able to understand her between her fits of laughter. With Seamus it was easy. He didn't believe Voldemort had returned. If she wasn't buzzed, it would hurt, but now, she only saw hanging out with Seamus as carefree and fun. With him, she could pretend that Voldemort didn't exist because he truly didn't believe it.

"Holy crap." Kim laughed when she tripped over nothing while entering Lavender's kitchen. "Lavender must have those invisible things. You know, the things that Luna talks about."

Seamus smirked. "I don't talk to Looney Lovegood."

"Luna!" Kim tried to sound serious, mean even, but she could barely get Luna's name out without laughing again. "She's really snice."

"Snice?" Seamus mimicked, making his voice as high a pitch as it would go. "It's a miracle you can stand, Potter."

"I only had one drink." But she held up three fingers. "Maybe four…"

Seamus smiled, although he had to lean on Lavender's counter for support. "You shouldn't play drinking games if you suck at them."

"Then why do you play them?" Kim asked with a glare. She glanced at the clock. Ginny would want to go home in an hour or so. "Besides, my birthday's next week. I'll be of age in… two years."

"Damn. I didn't get you anything." Seamus drummed his fingers on the countertop as he pretended to think it over. "Will a kiss cover it?"

Kim frowned and briefly thought of Blaise. She was an arse and pretended that she didn't want to talk to him because his friends were all the sons of Death Eaters. The truth was, she didn't deserve him. She'd have to tell him in a letter… Right now, she was too drunk to think clearly. "Kiss me, and we'll see."

* * *

The next morning, Kim didn't expect to be awake, let alone have Hermione rip off her covers. She groaned and cracked her eyes open to see her doing the same to Ginny. Ginny was a lot tougher though, and her two best friends were soon in a tug of war over the blanket.

"Do you know how worried I was?" Hermione grunted as she yanked the blanket out of Ginny's grasp. The youngest Weasley tried to reach for it but only managed to fall out of her bed. "I flooed here before the adults had a meeting. I came up here to look for you, and you were nowhere to be found! I almost firecalled someone before Fred and George told me you two buffoons were at Lavender's!"

 _We didn't know you were coming._ That's what Kim thought she said. Instead, all she got out were grumbles and whines.

"Voldemort is after you, Kim!" Hermione yell whispered. "And you're out getting pissed. None of the adults know where you are! By the time they would realize you were gone and to look for you, it could already be too late."

"Lay off, Hermione!" Ginny growled as she slowly crawled back into bed. "Kim had to see Fleur die! We deserve to have a little fun!"

"You are so irresponsible, both of you!" Hermione sighed, sounding so frustrated that Kim forced herself to open her eyes again. "I'm here for the summer. So if this happens again, I'm telling."

Kim took a deep breath and opened her eyes fully before sitting up. Her head was pounding. "We stay at Lavender's. And everyone who comes over is a Gryffindor."

Hermione gave her that _you're an idiot_ look. "So was Peter Pettigrew. And Snape was in Slytherin. And I know you'd rather be at his house right now."

Ouch. Severus hadn't so much as written to Kim since Voldemort returned. She had written to him a few times, but (sometimes just a few hours later) all her letters were returned unopened. "Leave me alone, Hermione."

"No," Hermione said bluntly. "I'm your best friend, and I'm not going to let you be so reckless!"

"Fine!" Ginny yelled. Kim had a feeling that she was just trying to shut Hermione up. "We won't go anymore. Just let us sleep."

Hermione shook her head, clearly not believing her. "Next time, I'm telling."

* * *

Harry would never admit it, but he still had the biggest crush on Hermione. She was smart, responsible, and most of all, she wasn't afraid to stick to her guns.

"I just don't want there to be a next time," Hermione confessed. It was past lunch time, and she had gone over because Ginny and Kim were still sleeping. They were walking around in the backyard, so Sirius and Remus wouldn't overhear them if they came home. "So I don't know if I should say something now."

Harry shrugged, having no idea. Ron hated him with a passion, so he never went to the Burrow. Because Voldemort had returned, he hadn't spoken to Draco either. The summer had been pretty lonely so far with Sirius and Remus gone all the time. "I didn't know. But she's been so _dead_ all summer. And when she comes back from the Burrow, she seems to have some of the life back in her."

"She shouldn't use alcohol to feel better," Hermione grumbled. "That's how people get sick."

"For all you know, they won't do it again." Harry frowned. Who was he kidding? Of course they were going to do it again the first chance they got. "It's the weekend before our birthday, so I'll try to get her to stay. Remus said he was going to dig through the basement and find photographs of our parents during their school years."

Hermione rubbed at her eyes. She had been up all night, waiting and worrying for those two fools. "Thanks. Ask Sirius if Ginny and I can come over for cake. That way, if Kim asks to sleep over the Burrow, I'll know."

"Spoken like a true Slytherin." Harry smiled sadly. He hadn't heard from one of his friends all summer.

Hermione must have sensed that he was lonely. Harry only liked her more when it was clear she wasn't going to acknowledge it but wanted to help him anyway. "We should start a dueling club. Ron said that the new wards that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley put up at the Burrow will block our Traces. I bet Remus and Sirius have up similar ones up. And he'll be on his best behavior. If not, I'll be the first one dueling him."

Harry smirked. He almost felt bad for Ron. "That'll be great."

* * *

The War had barely begun, and Remus was already tired, tired mostly because he was already worrying about everyone. He knew Kim wasn't as happy as she was pretending to be. He also knew Harry didn't have anyone to talk to. And now it was confirmed that he would be trying to convince werewolves that weren't from Greyback's pack to at least stay neutral, so now he had Sirius to worry about. He was sure that Sirius would have trouble coping with living alone, but he also knew that Sirius would swallow his shoe before spending time at Number 13 willingly. Without Severus's help, he felt like he was taking care of everyone lately.

"She misses you," Remus said to the potion's master after the Order meeting that night. Being a double agent was obviously taking its toll on the other man. He looked about half as alive as the last time Remus saw him.

Severus gave him his usual glower. "That is not my concern, Lupin."

Remus sadly watched him stomp off to the floo. He was so caught up in the memories of the last few years that he didn't notice Sirius was behind him until the dog animagus started speaking, causing him to jump.

"Good riddance." Sirius gestured rudely to Snape as he disappeared through the floo. "He better not start being mean to Kimmy and Harry at school."

Remus rolled his eyes. That was the least of their problems. He only hoped that Kim wouldn't provoke Severus once school started. "I think Dolores Umbridge is more worrisome at the moment. I can't imagine Kim handling it well when she hears her new teacher insisting that Voldemort isn't alive."

Sirius smirked. "Kimmy will stick up for herself. And I'll tell her to watch out for Harry too."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Remus sighed. "And I think Harry is more likely going to have to look out for Kim. I don't want Kim getting in trouble for telling the truth. But we all know she isn't going to politely say that she disagrees with Dolores. Especially with the past they have."

"Problem solved. Kimmy will run her out of the school." Sirius shrugged when Remus glared at him. "What do you want me to say, Moony? There's nothing we can do."

 _I don't know what to do either. That's the problem,_ Remus thought. He walked over to the floo and grabbed some powder before saying, "We'll talk to her about it at the end of the summer, I suppose. After Fleur's funeral."

* * *

Pansy wasn't sure if Daphne knew, but whenever she wasn't sleeping over her house, she was sneaking over Draco's. She would do anything to avoid her mum at this point, and she didn't think her father blamed her. He was getting awfully cozy with Blaise Zabini's mum lately.

Draco's parents didn't know either, although she was sure Mrs. Malfoy would figure it out eventually. Pansy stayed there all day, hid in the gardens until she was sure Draco's parents were asleep, and then snuck into Draco's room.

As expect, Draco was the perfect gentlemen with her. They only slept, only went as far as they both agreed on. After a month, Pansy decided that she was ready.

"Are you sure?" Draco asked. There was a slight fear in his voice, but if Pansy wasn't mistaken, a bit of excitement too.

It was dark and would have been pitch black if it wasn't for the moon light. Pansy had silently slid on top of him and slipped her hands up his shirt.

"Yes," she said breathlessly. "I know a charm. So don't worry…"

"I know it too." Draco reached up and brushed some of hair away from her face. She had let it grow over the summer and it was almost to her shoulders. "But you don't have to just because you've been sleeping here."

"I want to," Pansy assured. "Because I love you."

Although it was dark, Draco smiled at her. She was sure of it. "I love you too."

* * *

When Kim woke up after the Saturday before her birthday, it was still dark. Ginny was whispering so low that she could barely hear her, even though she was right next to her ear.

"The Burrow warden is asleep." Ginny must mean Hermione, who was watching them like a hawk the entire evening. Harry was too but not as obviously. "Let's go. I've been dying to see Dean."

Kim sat up and listened for a minute to make sure no one else was awake and moving about the cottage. If only Remus and Sirius snored, then she would know for sure. "Let me leave a note on Remus's door. Then he'll know I'll be sleeping at your house in the morning."

Ginny nodded and glanced over her shoulder. "Okay. But one of the floorboards by the sofa squeaks. Watch out for it. It nearly gave me a bloody heart attack."

* * *

Kim knew that she drank too much that night but didn't think too much into it because, well, she was drunk. Ginny usually made sure everything turned out alright, that they were home before Mrs. Weasley woke up and checked on them. She never thought she'd wake up at four in the morning _before_ Ginny.

She never thought she'd wake up in Lavender's basement with Seamus either.

They were crammed together in a smelly old cot, and when she felt an unfamiliar soreness in between her legs, all the memories came flooding back. They snuck down the basement when Lavender's mum said all the boys had to go home. She took off his shirt and laughed like an idiot when he struggled to take off hers. And things continued from there…

Horrified, Kim scrambled out of bed. Seamus was so out of it that he didn't even wake up when she took the scratchy, smelly blanket with her. She looked away when she saw that he was naked too.

Kim threw the blanket on him and put her clothes on as quickly as she could. It was pointless now, but she didn't want him to see her without clothes on.

Upstairs, she found Ginny dozing in the living room with Lavender and Parvati. She shook Ginny awake and mumbled that they had to hurry home before Hermione woke up. Ginny whined but slowly complied. Kim didn't know what she was going to do. How could she have been so stupid?

* * *

She shouldn't have cried into her pillow when they snuck back to the Burrow. Hermione wasn't a light sleeper, but she wasn't a heavy one either.

A little after two in the afternoon, Kim and Ginny stumbled downstairs to get something to eat. The Burrow was so quiet that she knew she was in trouble. Fred and George didn't even pop their heads out of their room to tease them about it.

Even Sirius looked angry when they walked into the sitting room. Hermione was nowhere to be seen.

"Get in the floo," Remus snapped. "We have a lot to talk about."

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Someone's in trouble… :(**

 _ **New Readers:**_

 **1\. Kim is the "Chosen One," Harry is not. Kim sucks at DA, but he's been helping her out.**

 **2\. In the previous books, Kim and Severus were very close, but he told Voldemort that Sirius turned her against him after she found out he was a Death Eater.**

 **3\. Harry is in Slytherin. His best friend is Draco, and Ron hates him. Ron was picking on him in the last book, and Kim overreacted, flipped out on him, and pushed him, which is why they aren't talking.**

 **4\. Fleur and Krum died in GoF instead of Cedric. Kim was very close with Fleur which is why she's grieving the way she is.**

 **5\. Pettigrew is in jail. Pansy's mother was the one helping Voldemort get his body back in GoF.**

 **6\. Past Blaise/Kim, implied/future Draco/Kim**

 **Think Remus should tell Severus? Please review!**


	2. Angry

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

 **Thank you girlwholived- Haley Potter, ChinaxJapan101, and lizy2000 for reviewing!**

Chapter 2 Angry

Remus started yelling before he even set foot out of the floo. "How could you do this? You have done a lot of stupid things over the years, Kim, but this is by far the worst thing you have ever done!"

"I was at Lavender's the whole time!" Kim yelled back before she could stop herself. "Her mum—"

"We didn't know where you were," Sirius hissed. He glanced at Harry's door, but there was no sign of him either. "I don't think Mrs. Brown has wards up that Voldemort can't penetrate, considering the Ministry's severe lack of warnings. And if something did happened, you were too drunk to try to so much as floo back to safety!"

Kim didn't bother to say anything because, well, she didn't exactly have much of a defense besides the fact that she didn't think Voldemort would try to look for her at Lavender Brown's house. Remus was more than happy to fill in the silence though.

"I mean, at least before you thought you were doing the right thing or helping Sirius." He started pacing back and forth while Sirius barely moved. "But this time you didn't think at all! At the worst possible time! Do you want Voldemort to find you? Is that what you want? WELL?"

"No," Kim said quietly, not knowing what else to say.

"I suppose this is our fault." It was hard to tell if Sirius was being sarcastic or not. "If we have to watch your every move, so be it. Start packing, Kimmy."

Kim glanced at Remus, but he was so angry that she couldn't tell if he knew what Sirius was talking about. He couldn't be sending her away… Could he? "What? Why?"

Sirius laughed darkly. "I really didn't want to do it, but it looks like we're going to have to. We're moving to Grimmauld."

* * *

Severus did not know why he bothered to allow Lupin to talk to him. Alright, he knew, but he was never going to admit it. Especially with that damned twinkle Albus had in his eye before he left at the end of the Order meeting. He tried to remain stone faced when Lupin said he needed to talk to him.

"What is it Lupin? The Dark Lord wants to speak with me in a few hours." Speak was an understatement. The Dark Lord was still frustrated with the failure of the Third Task. Lately, the only time he wasn't screaming was when he was watching someone suffer under the Torture Curse.

Something about Lupin was off. He looked like he hadn't slept and kept reaching into his pocket but leaving whatever was in it. "Kim's been drinking. And sneaking out with Ginny."

He should leave. Say that the little brat wasn't his concern like he did last week. Unfortunately, Severus couldn't resist getting angry. "Sneaking out? Are you telling me that you and the Weasleys didn't bother putting wards on the floo? And what happened to those damned clocks? You idiots leave children unattended and expect nothing to happen? Is that why Black wasn't here? You imbeciles finally realized that children should be supervised?"

"Severus…" Lupin sighed, looking even more exhausted. "I didn't tell you so you could… I told you because we don't know what to do. We're moving to Grimmauld to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"And removing her door," Severus added furiously. "And taking that owl away from her. And stripping her room of everything that even remotely brings her joy. She's fifteen, Lupin. You should know exactly where she is at all times!"

"I know!" Again, Lupin fiddled with his pocket. "But I don't know what's going to happen when school starts. I can't be there—"

"She is not my responsibility! She _can't_ be my responsibility!" Severus growled. It was almost like things were back to normal. As usual, he wanted to throttle Lupin. "Have her Hogsmeade privileges revoked. And tell her Minerva to give her a strict curfew. And tell Kimberly it's high time she filled that empty space in her head with a brain!"

"Severus!" Lupin wanted to reprimand him, but it was clear that whatever was on his mind was bothering him more. "Seamus Finnigan keeps writing to her. Multiple times a day, all week. It seems to upset her more than any lecture she gets from me or Sirius, even though she throws the letters away…"

 _Does he really need me to do it?_ Severus thought before holding out his hand for one of the letters. "Are you really that much of an infant Lupin? She's in too much trouble to have her privacy rights considered. And again, it's her fault for being too stupid to not consider destroying them."

Lupin glared at him, but he did indeed hand over a crumpled letter. "Sirius thought we should, but I didn't want to."

"Oh, so I'm the tie breaker," Severus said with false glee before ripping open the letter. The more he read, the more enraged he became. He could only read half of it before tearing it to shreds. Lupin jumped and waited for him to speak, but he couldn't. Oh, he couldn't wait for school to start. Finnigan was going to find himself knee deep in detention before classes even started.

"Is he trying to get her to sneak out again?" Lupin asked quietly.

"No." Severus didn't even want to talk about it. He wanted to break something, but he knew breaking anything in this house would only bring Black joy. "Kimberly and Mr. Finnigan decided to have intercourse this weekend. He barely remembers the incident and wants to make sure Kimberly is on some sort of birth control."

Lupin gaped but then shook his head in disbelief. "They-they aren't dating."

"Believe it or not, Lupin, alcohol doesn't lead to good decision making." Severus wanted to yell at Kimberly until he turned blue. She was just a child! Lupin and Black didn't know how to properly discipline her. They thought guilt and heartfelt conversations would get through to her. But he knew he couldn't speak to her. Then she would think that they could talk again.

"She…" Lupin again shook his head in denial. "She wouldn't."

"Go home and tell Black, Lupin. I'm sure his meltdown will be half as frightening to her as mine would have been." Severus turned around and started heading towards the floo. Hopefully there was something of his father's that he hadn't broken yet at Spinner's End.

* * *

Before Remus said she couldn't use Hedwig anymore, Kim could tell that Severus opened her letter before sending it back. It was mostly resealed, but there was a tiny flap in the envelop that was loose. She wondered if he read the others.

Things were tense at the cottage as they silently packed their things. Remus kept looking at her oddly, and she didn't know why. At least she knew why Sirius wasn't talking. It was clear he didn't want to go to Grimmauld, for some reason. Kim didn't dare say that it was his idea in the first place.

Kim looked sadly over her shoulder before she stepped into the floo with her trunk. She and Harry had to read a note from Dumbledore before being able to floo, so she supposed it was his house. She already missed Remus's cottage.

Because it was clear that Harry was angry with her too, Kim started off with helping him unpack. "I'm sorry. If Ron bothers you when they move in tomorrow—"

"It's not that!" Harry snapped. "I can take care of myself."

Kim tried to ignore the implied, _Unlike you._ She opened a box and started unloading his books onto the new bookshelf Sirius bought him for his birthday. "Then what is it?"

"Do you know how scared Remus and Sirius were when Hermione got them this morning?" Harry asked. "Hermione warned you. Why couldn't you listen? Do you care what's happening? Because Sirius and Remus won't talk about it. I guess they don't realize that not letting you know the reality of things makes you think you can do whatever you want."

Kim slammed the books onto the shelf. So Hermione told him. She was beginning to feel like everyone was against her but Ginny. "Nothing happened before! Okay, fine. I guess it was stupid! But I can't undo it. I don't know what you want from me!"

"To admit that you were wrong," Harry mumbled as she stomped out. He didn't know if she heard, but he doubted she was going to listen.

* * *

Ginny wasn't talking to Hermione. Kim hadn't seen either of them until they moved into Grimmauld the next day. She was still unpacking her things, and Ginny was in such a foul mood that she knew she wasn't going to get anything out of her.

"Why'd you do it?" At first, Kim was quiet, but when it was clear Hermione wasn't planning on answering her, she raised her voice. "You saw that we got home safe, so why'd you have to tell on us?"

Hermione unzipped her suitcase and put away her socks before answering. "Because you made it clear you weren't going to listen to me."

She went on to put away her things. She wouldn't look at either of them, and when she became too uncomfortable under their resentful stares, Hermione decided to lie on her bed and hide behind a book.

"You aren't my mum!" Kim shouted after Hermione turned the page.

Hermione scowled but didn't look away from the book. "Then stop acting like you need me to be!"

Kim wanted to yell and scream and tell Hermione to find her another room to sleep in. Furious, she kicked her nightstand so hard that the lamp fell off it. "YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH!"

Even Ginny tensed, but Kim didn't care. Hermione was her friend, and she felt like she betrayed her. Yes, she and Ginny shouldn't have snuck out, but that didn't mean Hermione had to tell on them.

Hermione stopped speaking to her until November.

* * *

Narcissa knew that Pansy was sleeping over. However, she was so worried about Lucius that she was tempted to let it slide. But when Lucius announced that he would be leaving for a week, she couldn't take it anymore and almost took her anger out on Draco and his girlfriend.

At six in the morning, she threw open her son's door. Her lip curled in disgust when she saw that they were both asleep and lying together naked. "If you were smart, Draco, Pansy would be sleeping in an underused wing in the Manor right now."

Because she had spoken so loud, the lovely couple jumped awake. Thankfully, Pansy wasn't too out of sorts to forget to cover herself with a sheet. "Mrs.—"

"Pansy, I think I have every right to tell your mother what you've been up to," Narcissa said coldly. She didn't want to. She just wanted to forget where Lucius was right now.

"Mum…" The fear was clear in her son's eyes. Good. "You don't understand."

Narcissa wasn't having it. She didn't want to hear that they loved each other and couldn't wait. She wanted her husband home to tell her that her son was growing up and that they should talk to him like an adult instead of getting angry. "I don't care! This is not the time to be—"

"Please." Pansy's eyes filled with tears. It was to be expected, but Narcissa still couldn't stop herself from feeling guilty. "I can't go home, Mrs. Malfoy. Please. I can't do it anymore."

"Do what?" Narcissa was so sure that the girl was going to come up with some spontaneous excuse. She didn't expect to hear that Mrs. Parkinson had been making the girl diet to the point that she was getting sick last year. There was no way she could kick her out now.

* * *

"You did what?" Instead of sinking into bed with exhaustion, Lucius was very awake and furious when he returned home late one August night.

Narcissa tried not to look at him and stared out their bedroom window. "Contracts can be broken, Lucius. I couldn't send the girl back. Abraxas approves."

"Don't act like you don't think he is more swine than man!" Lucius shouted as loudly as he dared with Abraxas a few doors down. "He only approves because Pansy is a pureblood, and he was worried about Draco fancying that little halfblood."

 _You were just as afraid, if not more so,_ Narcissa thought dryly. Finally, she turned away from the window to face her husband. "I couldn't send her back. And her father thought that she was staying with the Greengrasses. If he found out, she would have to go back to her mother."

"So?" Lucius yelled. "So you decided that it was a good idea to form a marriage contract so they could live together? Narcissa, we swore we would let our son chose who he wants to marry! And now you've made the decision for him at fifteen!"

"I couldn't let her go back," Narcissa repeated. "If Draco and Pansy decide not to continue the relationship, we'll simply break the contract when she turns seventeen."

Lucius slammed his fist into the top of their dresser. "Oh? So he'll just be imprisoned for the next two years? Every time! Every time there's a little girl with a sob story, you try to swoop in and save her! But now it's at the expense of our son! I miss our daughter too, Cissa, but you don't see me taking such risks! Pansy is not Lyra just like Kimberly wasn't!"

Narcissa slapped him before she could stop herself. She covered her mouth to stifle a sob, already regretting what she had done. It hurt so much, because Lucius was telling the truth.

* * *

"Apologize," Harry snapped at Kim the morning of Fleur's funeral. So Hermione told him. She was telling him a lot lately. Maybe he would get his wish and Hermione would start to fancy him.

Kim tried not to react and keep her voice neutral. "I have somewhere to be."

"Fleur would be disgusted with you," Harry said as she walked towards the floo. Kim stopped in her tracks but forced herself not to turn around. "Hermione was only making sure Voldemort didn't get you a second time. You might not be so lucky next time."

"Maybe he should've gotten me the first time." Kim went in the floo before he could respond. Remus and Sirius were waiting for her.

* * *

When Mrs. Delacour let Fleur's ashes fly into the ocean, Kim felt all her anger rush out like the ashes that were flying out of the urn and getting caught in the wind. This was all her fault. That's why she was so mean to Blaise, Ron, and Hermione. It was easier than letting Fleur go.

Remus put his arms around her as she started crying hysterically, but she barely noticed. Fleur was gone and being angry wasn't going to change it.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Poor Hermione. :( Kim's finally starting to let herself grieve, although as you'll see, she does it very oddly… Next up, everyone's favorite toad will return! Please review!**


	3. Hurt

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

 **Thank you kessy63 for reviewing!**

Chapter 3 Hurt

When Sirius saw Kimmy come down for breakfast, he started choking on his coffee. Remus told him to wait for her to come to them, that she wasn't going to talk to them if she felt forced. As much as he hated it, Sirius forced himself to wait because he didn't know what else to do. It was too hard, however, not to say anything when she entered the kitchen with blonde hair and a shirt that was the same shade of blue as the Beauxbatons uniform. For once, she was letting her scar be seen and had pushed back her bangs with a matching blue headband.

"K-Kimmy?" Sirius tried to keep his voice calm but could tell he was failing miserably. He didn't know if he thought this was creepy or just incredibly sad. "What did you do to your—Ow!"

Remus kicked his leg from under the table and plastered a fake smile on his face. "Did Ginny help you with your hair, Kim?"

Kimmy stared at Remus like she had no idea what he was talking about. Sirius wondered if she thought they were going to act like they didn't notice. "No."

Before Sirius could say anything, Hermione, Harry, and Ron walked in. Hermione was talking about the latest book she was reading before she stopped mid-sentence at the sight of Kim. Ron had a gloomy look on his face, probably because he had been forced to hang around Harry lately. Remus thought everyone living together would force them to be friends again, but so far, no such luck.

The three were openly staring, Ron with an open mouth. After a few seconds, Kimmy finally looked at them, but only because of the scrapping sound of Harry pulling his chair out to sit down. She looked back at the eggs on her plate without a word.

"You know what we should do today?" Oh no, Remus was not going to ignore this. For Merlin's sake! "Let's clean out the drawing room. It's infested with Doxies."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. Remus purposely ignored him and kept his eyes on the kids. When Harry talked to Kimmy, it was forced, and she still wasn't talking to Hermione or Ron. Ginny was out getting textbooks with Mrs. Weasley, and for some reason, he could tell that Remus was upset with Kimmy about something besides the drinking and sneaking out. He wasn't about to have everyone crammed in a room together. "Kimmy and I will take care of that. You four should give the attic a go. We'll help you later."

"Actually—" Remus stopped when he saw the dark look Sirius was giving him. Kimmy was his goddaughter! They had tried Remus's way, and she was only acting more disturbed. "Actually that sounds like a good idea."

* * *

Sirius entered the dusty old drawing room to find Kreacher slinking out of it, mumbling under his breath as usual. It was oh so tempting to kick his saggy arse out the door.

"It is the heiress!" Kreacher muttered loudly enough so they could barely hear him. "Mistress's disappointment of a son did not even make the halfblood take the family last name! Oh how Mistress would weep!"

"Ignore him, Kimmy." Sirius's face fell when it was clear that she was already. She had her back to him and was staring at the family tapestry. He expected at least some name calling, a question, _anything._

Instead, she only coughed because of the cloud of dust that came out when she ran her fingers across the tapestry. "I know my hair looks stupid. You didn't have to get me alone to tell me."

Now that she mentioned it… The shock had worn off, and it was clear that silvery blonde wasn't her color. It made her look way too pale. Hopefully she'd change it back soon. "That's not what I wanted to talk about, Kimmy. I'm sure you'll get teased about it enough once school starts."

That earned him a ghost of a smile. She crouched down, still looking at the tapestry. Her nose wrinkled in revulsion when she realized that his parents were second cousins. "Where are you?"

Reluctantly, Sirius crouched down and pointed at the burn mark. "Right above you. 'The heiress.'"

Kimmy poked at the burn mark as if her touch could fix it. "I feel like Kreacher and Severus could be friends."

"Well they are both absolutely revolting." Sirius sat on the floor, inviting Kimmy to do the same. "Don't you want to know why I was burned off?"

They must be too close to the tapestry now because Kimmy reached in her pocket and took out her reading glasses. Her eyes scanned the family tree for more burn marks to search for clues. "The Malfoys are here. So you have to be a Death Eater to stay on the tree."

Sirius frowned. When he was stuck as Padfoot a few years ago, he could tell that Kimmy absolutely adored Narcissa. "No. Narcissa is my cousin. All Pureblood families are interrelated." He pointed at Walburga's name. "My dear old mum hated me, Kimmy. So she probably burned off my name after I ran away."

"You ran away?" For the first time in what felt like forever, he could hear genuine interest in Kimmy's voice. Her dark eyes widened. "Why? Did she hit you?"

Sirius felt his throat clench. That was why Kimmy ran away when she was ten. "Sometimes," he forced himself to admit. He drew a few lines on the dusty floor before continuing. "All the time. She wanted me to be more like my brother. Slytherin, a pureblood zealot. I couldn't do it, and I wasn't willing to try either."

"I couldn't be normal like the Dursleys." Kimmy curved one of his lines downward and added two dots to turn it into a frown. "I used to try. But it made me very angry. They didn't like me even when I was good."

Sirius closed the frown into a circle and added a smile at the bottom, so it resembled a happy face with a big, round nose. "I lived with your dad and your grandparents after I ran away. It was one of the happiest summers of my life."

Kimmy wiped away the smile with her hand. "But you had to come back because of me."

"I came back because I love you far more than I hate this house," Sirius said softly. "I know you're hurting Kimmy, but sometimes I feel like I'm losing you. Remus thinks you need time. I don't know what you need, but blonde hair and a blue shirt isn't going to make you feel better."

He expected her to flip out. To throw the black vase that Kreacher didn't manage to steal or scream until the doxies came out. Part of him wanted her to because at least then he could see that she wasn't completely lost to him. Instead, she merely shrugged. "I want to burn _her_ name off the wall."

It took Sirius a minute to realize she was talking about Walburga. "Why?"

"Because she burned off yours," she said childishly, like it was his mother's only offense. She found a loose thread by his father's name and started pulling at it. "We should burn the whole thing."

"I think Remus will be pretty upset if we burned the whole house to the ground," Sirius joked. Instead of laughing with him, she stared at him expectantly. "Okay. We'll burn off a couple names, and we'll finish after getting rid of the doxies. If there's too much smoke, we might wake them up."

 _"Incendio!"_ Kimmy barely waited for him to finish speaking and had the tip of her wand pointed at _Abraxas Malfoy_. She left Narcissa and Draco untouched and started going upwards after burning Lucius to a crisp.

Sirius chuckled as she soon became too short for the rest of the Malfoys and started massacring the Lestrange family. As if he was afraid to, he pointed his wand at his mother's name but hesitated to burn it off. Her portrait was still downstairs. He walked past it every day. The other day she called him a disappointment that should have died before birth. He told Remus that he considered it a compliment from her. And of course, Remus saw right through him. His sad smile only hurt Sirius more.

 _"Incendio."_

* * *

In many ways, Remus thought Ron was a lot like Sirius. Hermione was a much stronger version of himself, and Kim was so much like James that it was at times painful. Harry was like Lily, but, sometimes, he reminded Remus of Severus. Not in the way that he saw Severus when they were children. Merlin no. Along with being a Slytherin, Harry's stubbornness and currently, his loneliness, is what reminded Remus of Severus. He imagined that Sirius wouldn't take it too well if James chose Severus over himself, so he understood why Ron hated Harry. He didn't like it, but he understood.

Remus watched with a small smile on his face as Ron tried to stun more doxies than Harry. Hermione was the only one who sprayed a nest first instead of waking them. Harry lured them into a corner before stunning as many as he could.

"I can tell all three of you have questions," Remus said before sitting on a dusty old piano. Surprisingly, it didn't collapse under his weight. The wood must be charmed not to rot. "You're running out of time. Molly will be back soon."

In unison, all three of them stopped. The remaining doxies fled to a hole in the wall on the other side of the room. Several chattering noises made Remus think they were trying to figure out how to get revenge. Hopefully they had enough spray left.

Harry was the first to speak. "What exactly is the Order? Is it like a secret police?"

Ron glared at him. "I bet your _friends_ would like to know."

"Ronald!" Hermione chided.

"If they did, I think they'd be writing me a _tiny_ bit more," Harry spat, making Remus feel guilty. Not one of his friends had written to him all summer.

"The Order," Remus went on calmly. "Is doing its best to fight against Voldemort. The Ministry refuses to believe that he has returned."

"Why?" Ron asked, not taking his eyes off Harry, who also refused to look away.

"Because…" Since he wasn't Ron's father and no longer his teacher, Remus didn't feel comfortable disciplining him. Hermione didn't care, however, and elbowed him in the ribs to shut him up. "Because if Voldemort isn't around, then people feel safe. Fudge doesn't want to deal with the panic his return would cause. He also doesn't want to deal with not being able to trust people like Lucius, who have been donating money to the Ministry ever since Voldemort originally fell."

"And what are they going to do when people start dying?" Harry rolled his eyes. "People are already dying. Fleur obviously died from the Killing Curse. Are they just going to ignore it? How convenient for them that the Delacours and Krums live far enough away to be ignored."

Remus grimaced. That was a very callous way to look at it… "Yes. I suppose. Cedric Diggory has been very _vocal_ , but they are saying that the blast-ended shrewt attack caused brain damage, causing him to become very paranoid. He and Cho Chang insist that Voldemort has returned though. However, they weren't there when he returned, so they are being dismissed as insane."

 _Like Kim._ It was clear that Hermione wanted to say it but forced herself to swallow the words. Instead, she asked the question that would have sent Molly through the roof, if she was here. "So what is the Order doing? The Death Eaters seem to be in hiding. There are no fights. No current deaths."

"That we know of." Remus sighed and stared off at the beams of light coming through the cracks in the attic. "Voldemort… He's after something. We are doing our best to protect it."

"And part of protecting it is not telling us what it is?" Harry asked bitterly, already knowing the answer.

Remus smiled. "I'm afraid so. I have a feeling that you're going to know sooner rather than later… And I want all of you to be ready." He paused. This is why he wanted Sirius to be here. He was much braver when it came to confronting those he cared about. "Ron, Voldemort doesn't care that Harry's in Slytherin. He'd torture and kill him to get to Kim in a heartbeat. And Harry's smart enough to know that. I know you don't trust him but keep that in mind. Voldemort would never trust him. Voldemort does not trust anyone, but there's nothing Harry could say that would make Voldemort not eventually kill him."

Ron's ears burned dark red. He looked away and stared at an old, dust covered crib that Sirius probably once slept in. "I know."

Remus tensed in surprise, and he wasn't the only one. Ron hated Harry because he thought Harry was going to take his two best friends away. He had already lost one, and Remus thought that he would blame Harry entirely and think he was going to take Hermione away too. Remus didn't think that Ron was capable of realizing that it was at least partially his own fault that he and Kim weren't currently speaking.

"We're going to start a dueling club. At school." Ron rubbed at the back of his head and wouldn't meet anyone's eye. "So we'll be as ready as we can be."

"That's good." Remus didn't believe that that was the end of it. He'd eat his own hat if Ron and Harry weren't in a serious duel before Christmas, but it was a start. Ron was growing up.

* * *

Draco knew that his mother meant well, that the engagement was only serious on paper. He was hurt because he wasn't exactly asked. It was the perfect solution. He agreed with that much, but it still hurt that Pansy didn't ask him how he felt about it. Instead, she spoke of getting married right outside of school. She wanted to start planning the wedding at the end of sixth year. Draco felt like he was being backed into a corner at a suffocating, painstakingly slow pace. It made him dread being around Pansy and caused him to sigh with relief if it became clear that they weren't going to talk about getting married.

And so, Draco found himself wandering around the library during his break instead of sneaking into Pansy's room like a big part of him wanted to. He knew she was waiting, and he also knew that she sensed his sudden coldness. He hated himself for hurting her, but he wasn't ready for any of this. The summer nights of them whispering to each until the sun came up were long gone.

With the atrocious dye job and glasses, Draco didn't recognize Kim at first. She was hidden behind a fortress of books, so she wasn't acting like herself either. For the first time in a while, he couldn't resist teasing her.

"I think tying your shoes is something more practical," he drawled. "No amount of studying is going to help you learn. I know it's hard, but you'll have to try it yourself."

"Don't talk to me," she snapped venomously. She grabbed a heavy book with yellowing pages to hide behind.

Draco drummed his fingers against the wooden table. There was no reason for him to be talking to her, especially now that the Dark Lord had returned. He started to leave but froze when he got a better look at her Beauxbatons blue headband. "Is that the one I got you for your birthday before second year?"

It wasn't green anymore, except for the stones that were shaped like a snake. He thought she would have thrown it out in third year or at least ripped the emeralds out.

"I didn't have another one." She hunched over to hide her face like she was ashamed of herself for talking to him. Draco vaguely remembered Harry saying something about Fleur Delacour liking her scar.

Since he knew there was a snowball's chance in hell that he was going to be invited, Draco sat down without asking. "They aren't that hard to come by."

"I'm not allowed to have pocket money," she mumbled. "Go away. I'm not telling you anything. So you can tell Daddy to go eff himself."

"You've told me enough already." Draco put a cocky smirk on his face when she tensed. "You don't have any money, so Lupin and Black are angry with you. You're reading Defense Against the Dark Arts books, so I think you're well on your way to learning how to fight your way out of a paper bag. Granger isn't here, so you must have pissed her off. Oh, and you've told me to leave but haven't left yourself or tried to force me to leave, so you aren't as repulsed by me as you claim to be."

"You're just like your father." Kim slammed her book shut and started putting it and the rest away.

Almost lazily, Draco waved his wand so the books started putting away themselves. "I'm engaged, did you know? So I've found the love of my life. I'm a prefect. _And_ rumor has it that I'll be Quidditch captain next year. What's going on with you?"

When he said he was engaged, hurt flickered across her face. Draco felt a strange combination of guilt and satisfaction. He could have told her that he felt like he was drowning, that he couldn't remember the last time he saw his father, or that he could only talk to Harry at night now when everyone was asleep. But then he wouldn't have gotten a reaction out of her. She would have grabbed her bag and left instead of giving him that wounded, kicked puppy look.

"How's Blaise?" she said hoarsely. Maybe it was an attempt to get back at him. Her voice sounded so weak and pathetic, not like when they were younger, and she used to cover up her hurt with lies and anger.

"Wonderful," he said dryly. "I believe he was skipping through a field of flowers this morning."

"Tell him… Never mind." Kim pursed her lips and picked up her bag.

"Oh so close to a sorry, Potter." Draco smirked and put a hand over his heart. "I'll tell him that you almost care."

"I care about him!" she yelled so loudly that most of the hushed whispers in the library died. With a growl, she slung her bag over her shoulder. "Leave me alone or you'll regret it."

Draco watched her stomp off. Later, he'd give her a detention for Pansy. _Leave me alone or you'll regret it._ He chuckled at the thought of her trying to hurt him. Now he'd have to show her that she couldn't no matter how hard she tried.

* * *

As stupid as it was, Kim fully expected Severus to talk to her after Potions class. It was right before lunch, so no one would be around. In class, he only stared straight through her. When she spilled something on purpose, he blamed Neville and went back to picking on Seamus during the whole double. At the end of class, she put her things away slowly so she was the last one out.

"Go away, Kimberly." Somehow, his voice was booming and quiet at the same time. "Before I remove you."

"But—"

"I said go away!" he shouted as loudly as he dared.

Kim bit her bottom lip to keep it from quivering. She wasn't giving up that easily. "I miss—"

"I don't care!" he roared. "Kimberly, I do not want to see you outside of the classroom again. And do me a favor, and fail your OWLs so I don't have to deal with you after this school year."

Kim opened her mouth, but no words came out. Severus took it as an opportunity to storm past her and leave her in the freezing dungeon. No one was around. He could have said anything he wanted.

* * *

At breakfast the next day, Pansy started talking about them getting a kitten together. Astoria Greengrass cooed and said it was like they were going to have a furry baby. Pansy called her a cotton headed fool, but her eyes softened, and it made Draco nervous again. He said he had to go to the toilet and had no intention of returning.

And so, Draco was wandering about again, wondering if he should go to Pomfrey and claim he had a stomach ache. That would get him out of his first class and make Pansy think he wasn't purposely avoiding her. It was rather tempting, but then he saw Kim talking to Finnigan and ducked into an alcove so he could listen.

"Why didn't you answer any of my letters?" Finnigan asked, sounding annoyed. Out of the corner of his eye, Draco so him shove his hands in his pockets and shuffle his feet. "I know ye got them, and although I barely remember, I knew what we did. I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to get pregnant."

 _What?_ Draco yelled in his head. Kim and Finnigan slept together?! Why on earth… This explained why Severus was extra hard on Finnigan lately. The boy could barely breathe without losing House points and getting detention.

"Well I'm not," Kim snapped. She sighed like she was tired. "I got caught. So I knew if I opened a letter, Sirius or Remus would read it. I'm sorry. I was in a lot of trouble, and I didn't want get in anymore."

Finnigan laughed awkwardly while Draco was just itching to hex him. "It was my first time too, you know."

Draco was dying to see Kim's face in the silence that followed. She was such a baby that he expected her to cry. Instead, she sounded like she didn't care. "It was a mistake. Look Seamus, it was fun this summer, but we're back at school, and I'm surrounded by people that don't believe me. We can't be friends or whatever if you don't either."

'Friends or whatever.' If there was one thing Draco never understood was how Kim could have fallen in love with Blaise and then have such casual relationships with others. He saw the way that they looked at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking.

"Like Umbridge?" Finnigan sounded guilty. Good. "You shouldn't have skipped class the other day. She talked about you the whole time while we just shuffled our feet and read the chapter. Hermione tried to argue with her over the material, but Umbridge only said that you were making everyone paranoid and that we didn't have to have practical lessons."

Kim laughed bitterly. "I'm not going to her class. No one can make me!" Severus would have been able to. "Tell her that I'm not going to class until she gets on her stubby knees and begs."

Finnigan shifted uncomfortably again. "Tell her yerself in detention. She gave you a week's worth for skiving off. So either you go to class or be stuck in detention every night."

That couldn't be good. Kim was too stubborn. Draco would be surprised if she went to class at all this year, but she would have to go to the detentions if she didn't want to get suspended. "Fine. I'd rather wash her knickers than learn from her."

"Whatever, Kim. I'll save ye a seat when you come to your senses. McGonagall won't let you skive all year." Finnigan paused. "And I really do like you. It's just too complicated for me."

Draco dared to lean to the side to see Kim's reaction. He slunk back when he saw a genuine smile on her face. She had definitely gone off the deep end. "I like you too, Seamus. It's just that… Well, you're a tosser."

They left laughing together. Draco stepped out of the alcove to see them shoving each other and joking around like friends. So Kim wanted a relationship to be simple and carefree, like what he wanted with Pansy. He wondered if she realized that with the Dark Lord's return, that it was impossible.

* * *

In her first detention with Umbridge, Kim felt the pain before she noticed the cut on her hand. She paused and stared at the dark red _I must_ for almost a minute. What the…

"Is there a problem?" Umbridge smiled prettily. "Because you can't leave until the words have sunk in, I'm afraid. Do your best to hurry up, dearest. I do have other things to do."

Her brain felt sluggish along with the rest of her. Slowly, Kim turned over to see faint scratches on her hand. When she squinted and saw _I must,_ she threw the pen across the room. "I'm not writing with that! I'm telling—"

"Who are you telling?" The toad's sickly sweet smile widened. "Sirius, who the Ministry suspects, burned down a Muggle house last summer? Remus, who has not reregistered with the Ministry this year? The Ministry has been searching for him for weeks. Or perhaps Severus? Are you still close to Severus?"

Kim felt her mouth run dry. She had no idea that Remus had to register with the Ministry, or that he hadn't this year. To try to hide her surprise, she tried to turn her attention to Umbridge's plates and make her eyes focus on the tiny kittens jumping from plate to plate while they chased a ball of yarn. "I-I…"

"Actually." Umbridge giggled, a sound that sent shivers up Kim's spine. "That is what I have to do. I have to create an official warrant for Mr. Lupin's arrest. If you want to leave, then I could always get started on it early. Hopefully the tracking charm he had put on last year hasn't worn off. Although it may in a few hours' time."

It was clear what she was doing. Kim didn't even know if she was telling the truth. She doubted it. How convenient would it be for Umbridge if Remus's tracking charm just happened to wear off September 3rd? But she wasn't exactly in a position to ask right now. Remus hadn't dropped them off at the train station. Only Sirius, a few Order members, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Sirius had said that Remus was leaving for a mission that day. Kim wondered if he was in hiding instead.

"I…" Kim didn't want to risk it. She'd have to ask Harry, but he might not know either. Remus liked to either ignore problems or not tell her about them unless he absolutely had to. With a sigh, Kim got out of her seat. She flinched as the floorboards creaked under her steps. Umbridge was watching her every move and giggled to herself when Kim sat down and started writing.

"Am welcome to start over," Umbridge finished for her. "Everyone makes mistakes. The first step to righting them is admitting to it."

Kim didn't say anything and forced herself to start writing through the pain. Umbridge may have thought that she won, but it wasn't over yet.

* * *

By the time detention was over, Kim's hand was swollen with _I must behave_ and wouldn't stop bleeding. After fleeing, she snuck into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, ignored her whiny protests, and wrapped her hand in toilet paper. All she had to do was talk to Severus. He would see that she needed him, and everything would be right again.

Without thinking, Kim jogged down the steps to his office and knocked on his door nonstop with her good hand. Because of the urgency, and although she didn't want to admit it, because he didn't know it was her, he opened the door.

"Sever—"

 _SLAM!_ Kim jumped backwards. He barely even looked at her! Just like in class! No one was around _again_! How could he?

Kim stood in the dank, dark hallway for a long time, hoping that Severus would change his mind and open the door again. He had to…

But he didn't. She was going to have to get back at Umbridge herself. If she was bad enough, Severus would have to stop her. Until then, the Toad is going down.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! I'm sorry for not updating for a month. I just needed a break from writing. Next up, Kim's new boyfriend helps her get back at Umbridge! :) Please review!**


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